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Joe Blundo | I want to take 'When I'm 64' and make it better

Thursday, April 26, 2018

I hear that your were 16 or so when you wrote the Beatles hit “When I’m 64.”

Having just attained the title age, I feel qualified to offer this critique of the lyrics:

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now.

Oh, Paul, such youthful idealism. Male pattern baldness does not begin at 64. If it did, there would be far fewer toupees in the world. The more appropriate age would be 44, if not 34 or — in some cases — even 24.

Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greeting, bottle of wine?

I can take or leave the valentine. But, by all means, let’s get the order correct for the wine and birthday greeting. Send the bottle first — it will make the reminder that I’m another year older a bit easier to take.

And maybe don’t say which birthday. After 50, it’s best to just recognize the ones ending in zero and leave the rest to speculation.

If I’d been out till quarter to three, would you lock the door?

Where do I start?

Source: Joe Blundo/Entertainment & Life

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